About Things.

The title of this blog was inspired by Mark Vonnegut's (son of Kurt) book, "Just Like a Person Without Mental Illness, Only More So."  But mental illness isn't primarily what I want to talk about.  Like most everyone else, I've had some, but I'm better now.

"Just Like Myself, Only More So" is about the struggle I've had against both external and internal forces to be comfortable in my own skin, both literally and metaphorically.  I found that just "being myself" isn't enough.  It's too passive.

Let me give you an example.  Have you ever told your daughter or female sibling/friend to just "be themselves."  The next time you do so, think about whether that's actually possible.  Here's a small example.  In a study done by Gillette in 1990, 92% of women said they shave their legs and 98% said they shave their underarms.  Most women (at least in the U.S.) can not comfortably "be themselves," simply because their natural self is not accepted.  Their NATURAL SELF is not accepted.

A post devoted entirely to shaving bodies is forthcoming - I know you're excited!

But this doesn't apply just to shaving legs, nor does it just apply to women.  I believe that each one of us has incredible things to offer the world, but not if we simply conform or attempt to "fit in."  And before you say "Well, that's not me.  I don't just go with the status quo,"  think about how you tone yourself down, or hide parts of your personality, humor, emotionality, etc.  This is particularly common in the workplace, and when meeting new people.  But why should it be that way?

Being yourself when you're by yourself isn't enough.  You need to share "you" with the world and see what happens.  If this doesn't bring you acceptance or success, it will most certainly bring you great personal happiness and incredible freedom.  When you're private self matches your public self, you feel complete.  And this might just bring you success, in whatever it is you're trying to achieve.

Let me clear, this is not easy.  That's where the "only more so" comes into play.  Being completely yourself takes deliberate action, and a lot of bravery.  This is especially true for those who border on "eccentric."  Yes, that's me.  In many ways, you will find yourself fighting against old habits, cultural norms, and society's unconscious desire to make you into something you're not.  You'll need a good pair of mental headphones to cancel out the background noise.

Dance shamelessly while in public.  Go shopping with messy hair.  Stay home and read books if that's what really interests you.  Make funny faces.  Set crazy goals that only YOU care about.  Don't censor your speech if there's no reason to.  Be yourself, only more so.